The True Once Upon a Time
by DaExileX9
Summary: Basically a LOTRfairy tale mix.
1. The First Part

Once upon a time, in a land far away, lived a King, his wife, and children. He and his wife lived happily living in a manor with many **vassals** and **serfs**. They also shared the joy of having three wonderful children, Belle, the eldest, Snow White, the middle, and the youngest and most ignored, Cinderella. Belle was the prettiest, but she had a strange fascination with big beasts. Snow White was pale due to many illnesses and she owned seven special dwarf vassals, and then Cinderella, she was forced to clean up after her sisters. It happened on one day in spring that the three sisters where sitting and chatting in the garden. A bunny popped out of its hole and the girls squealed "How cute!"

The bunny ran off followed by the princesses. By the time the bunny had disappeared, the princesses where lost in the middle of the forest. "Where are we?" asked Belle.

"You're the eldest." Snow White said

"Like, I'm supposed to know everything?" Belle replied.

"Well, you do spend a lot of your time in the library." Cinderella added.

"I like to read tales of adventures and heroes, it's not like I read maps." Belle said.

Then a scream pierced the air. It sounded like the scream of children. The princesses turned around and a gingerbread house stared at them from across a small stream. Then an old hag came out the door and said, "Come in, my pretties. That squeal was the pig for my dinner."

"That was no pig squeal." declared Cinderella.

"What do you know, Belle's the smartest." snapped Snow White.

"She's never been around the small animals, only that smelly boy friend of hers, Beast." replied Cinderella.

"Well at least he could defeat Prince Charming any day." was Belle's response.

This created a fight between the princesses, but the old hag intervened. "Come on, now is no time to fight, come in, come in. You'll feel better after a bowl of gruel." she said.

But as they reached the door an arrow whizzed past them and hit the old hag in the back. The hag turned around only to receive another arrow in the chest. The hag staggered forward and then landed with a thud on the forest floor. The princesses screamed and squealed when a man in a green tunic and tights appeared from the trees. In a thick French accent, he said, "Hello my name is…"

But the princess's incessant screaming drowned him out. "Quiet down, you spoiled brats!" he yelled.

The princesses where immediately quieted. "Now, as I was saying. I am Robin Hood, your savior." the stranger said.

"Savior? We didn't need saving, that hag invited us in." Belle said.

"My dear do not be naïve that hag just killed Hansel and Gretel, they where children of a poor peasant father." Robin Hood said, "Come I will lead you out of this forest."

"Wow! Cute and smart" giggled Snow White, the only one with out a suitor.

"Snow White! This is soo like you, falling for the first guy who plants a rescue." Belle criticized.

"Can it Belle." Snow White snapped giving her a stern look.

They where on their way embarking through the forest, Robin Hood and the princesses. They went a good deal when they reached a clearing. Robin Hood told them to stay while he went to get firewood. Soon a fire was lit and the princesses, except Cinderella, put up a fuss about sleeping on the ground, but seeing that nothing was going to change, so they slowly went to sleep. They awoke with the sun in their faces and the smell of a roast. "Good morning princesses" said Robin Hood.

"What are we having" asked Snow White.

"Rabbit." Robin Hood replied.

The princesses recoiled in disgust. "I couldn't eat a poor little animal" Cinderella said.

"So what, this is all you'll get till sundown." Robin said, "You also get a jug of fresh spring water."

"You're so resourceful." exclaimed Snow White.

"I thought you where a vegetarian." whispered Belle.

"Shhh!" replied Snow White, "Um… Sir Hood can I pick an apple from that tree behind you?"

"What?..."he began.

But it was too late the princes had plucked an apple and had taken a bite. "I don't feel so good " she said wearily.

"You never feel good." Said Belle.

Just then Snow White fainted onto the ground. "Great, now she wants the guy to carry her." Said Cinderella reaching for the jug of water.

Splash! Water was thrown onto Snow White but she did not stir. Robin Hood picked up the limp form of Snow White and got the princesses to move. They reached another clearing of the dense forest, but this one had a crumbling old tower in the center. The tower had no entrance to it. "This is strange." Said Cinderella.

"Indeed," declared Belle.

"Who intrudes on my tower grounds" exclaimed an old voice from above.

"Three princesses and Robin Hood." replied Robin Hood.

"I am Rapunzel" said the old woman," and if you ever see my sweetheart King Arthur, tell him I still have his stupid cup."

"Cup, Miss?" asked Robin Hood.

"Yes the cup that he went on a long journey for I think it had something to with Jesus?" Rapunzel replied.

"You have the Holy Grail!" Robin Hood exclaimed.

"What! Ah yes the Holy Grail that's what he called it." yelled Rapunzel, "He gave to me for safe keeping but he never returned. He said it would be safe with me in this high tower and said he would return."

"King Arthur has been dead for over a century, Miss." Robin Hood exclaimed.

"Oh. Then would you return this to Camelot." she said and dropped the cup.

"I guess we must since you dropped it." Robin Hood said.

Then they were off, back on there journey to return home. As nightfall approached the party heard rustling in the bush. Robin Hood fitted an arrow to his bow and prepare to fire. "Put down your bow, for it is I, Prince Charming." declared a voice.

Cinderella squealed with delight. Along with Prince Charming were two armed **knights** on horses. "Charmy, you've come to rescue me from this evil and awful forest!" cried Cinderella.

As Cinderella and her Prince made small talk. Robin Hood laid down Snow White, who was still unconscious, and lit a fire. He then threw the Holy Grail into the fire, much to the objection of Prince Charming. "What are you doing!" yelled Prince Charming.

"Here hold out your hand," ordered Robin Hood, "it's quite cool"

Prince Charming reached out and grabbed the surprisingly cool chalice. "You should see something." explained Robin Hood.

"There's some kind of peasant writing, it's too lower class to read." the prince said.

"It's a form of peasant writing five hundred years old, in our tongue it reads: One Cup to rule them all, One Cup to find them, One Cup to bring them all and in the darkness bind them." explained Robin Hood., "This is the one cup, that Jesus drank from at the last supper."

"Bid deal, I've got a piece of the cross of Jesus and another Holy Grail." Prince Charming said boastfully.

"Impossible, how could you have another Holy Grail?" questioned Robin Hood.

"I believe Jesus drank from many cups throughout his lifetime and each are special." explained Prince Charming.

The argument ended there when a ferocious roar was heard from the forest. "Where is she, where is she?" roared a voice.

"Oh that Beast, I'm here you big oaf." Belle yelled.

"Oh Belle. I thought I had lost you." Beast said gruffly.

"I was fine, tights boy over there kept us safe." The princess explained.

"Hey! This is modern fashion!" Robin Hood said defensively.

"Whatever," the princess said sarcastically.

"Fine," Robin said and ended the conversation.

"Hey prince and beast, we've got a problem." Robin said, " her"

As he pointed to the limp body of Snow White, Beast and Prince Charming burst into a fit of laughter. "What is so funny?" asked Robin Hood.

"Robin, you don't know how it's done do you?" asked Prince Charming.

"Do what ?" asked Robin Hood as the two kept laughing.

"Well, Snow White there is what is known as D.I.D." explained Beast.

"D.I.D. ?" asked Robin Hood.

"Damsel in Distress" Prince said, "if they eat a poison apple, you got to kiss the girl. Comes with the hero package."

Robin Hood mustered up the courage and finally kissed Snow White. For a while, she did not stir, but after a few moments, she finally opened her eyes. "Robin, did you save me? She said.

"I sure did." Robin said beaming,

They all slept peacefully that night, and in the morning, they where off Prince Charming said that the way to the king's castle lay to the east and every one agreed. On the way they heard a troll dancing and saying that his name was Rumplestiltskin. The group ignored the creature and moved on. They came upon a woman weeping on a tree stump. "What's wrong?" asked Snow White.

"Oh, I made this deal a long time ago with a troll, which you should never do, and now if I cannot find his name before sunset my baby is his." Said the woman.

"That's awful, but we saw this troll and he was singing and he said his name was Rumplestiltskin, if that will help." Belle said.

"I'll try that odd name thank you." She said and ran off.

They journeyed a bit longer when Cinderella screamed, "there's our manor!"

Snow White added "And look, there are my seven vassals, Dopey, Narcoleptic, Sneezy, Grumpy, Bashful, Doc, and Happy."

The peasants waved and the group waved. After that day, Robin Hood was made** Lord** and was given a big **fief** and **manor** with many vassals and serfs. He returned the Holy Grail to Camelot and paid **tithe** to the church there. And they all lived happily ever after.


	2. What to do?

**  
**

A month after the successful return of the three Princesses, their father the King of the Shire, called a meeting concerning the return of the grail. This is the account, it begins several days before the meeting, and Merlin and the King are conversing over matters. "The princesses have return and the grail is still safe in Robin Hood's hand." Merlin said.

"Yes, Merlin, but the grail it is not safe here, the Muslims will come to claim what is there's." the King said.

"Then we must take the Grail to the Church in Camelot." Merlin added, "But the Grail will not be safe there."

"What then must we do?" asked the King.

"Your majesty the Grail was made in Jerusalem and there and only there can be unmade." Merlin added.

"Who will take it? The peasants? They care only for their Lord and land. The Vikings? They care nothing except pillaging and moving on." The King said sternly.

"It is in the Woodsmen, we must place our trust." Merlin said.

"The Woodsmen! You know as well as I do they dwindle in numbers and are weak. I see it in your eyes, you where there the day the strength of the Woodsmen failed." Declared the King.

Flashback….one of the early crusades.

In the fires of a volcano in the outskirts of Jerusalem. "Arthur, hurry!" Merlin yelled, "Cast it into the fire!"

With an air of arrogance he said, "No."

With that he walked out. "Arthur!" Merlin yelled.

End flashback…

"The Woodsmen are scattered and have no leader." added the King.

"There is one who could unite them." Said Merlin.

"He turned from that path a long time ago," said the King," he has chosen exile."

A couple days later the dignitaries had arrived and the meetings had begun. "My fellow men, friends of old," the King began," you have all been summoned to answer the threat of Jerusalem. Bring forth the grail Robin."

Robin place the cup on the central pedestal and an air of awe and quit filled the air. "It is a gift, a gift from the Muslims." Declared Little John, "Why not use this gift against them? Long has my father, the steward of the Woods, kept the Muslims at bay. By the blood of our people are your lands kept safe. Give the Woodland Realm the weapon of the enemy."

"You cannot wield it no one can." Explained Robin Hood, "And what then, what will happen when Sauman, the dark Lord of the Muslims, takes back what is hiss!"

"What would a poor little peasant in tights know about this?" Little John said.

"This is no mere peasant, he is Robin Hood, son of the woodland realm." Said a Viking, "You owe him your allegiance."

"Sit down Lemolir." Said Robin.

"This is Arthur's heir?" Little John said stunned.

"An heir to the throne of the Woods." declared Lemolir.

"The Woods has no king," Little John replied, "the Woods need no King."

The King continued, "We have but one choice the Grail must be destroyed."

"What are we waiting for?" said a bulky Viking grabbing his huge war hammer.

With a great swing he brought the hammer down to the Grail, only to have a force toss him back and shatter his hammer. A look of shock and pain streaked across Robin Hood's face. The King looked at him with concern, but he continued, " No, Glimi, Son of Glor, we cannot destroy the Grail by any craft we hold here. The Grail was made in Jerusalem and only there can it be unmade. One of you must take it."

"One does not just walk into Jerusalem, the very air you breathe is poison." Little John said sternly.

"And I suppose you're the one to take it!" Glimi yelled.

"If it comes to it yes." replied Little John.

An argument ignited and many thunderous roars could be heard when Robin Hood stood up and said, "I will take...I will take the Grail to Jerusalem."

Everyone was staring at him with awe. "Though I do not know the way." he added.

"Through life or death I will protect you." Merlin said.

"I'll come too, for we have a bond of friendship stronger than the others here." Little John said, "I give you my sword."

"And my Hammer" declared Glimi.

"And my axe." Lemolir added.

"Five companions." declared the King," very well you will be the

Companionship of the Grail."

Later that night in a secluded moonlit grove. Robin Hood meets with his long sweet heart Maid Miriam, a close relative of the King. "Do you remember the first time we met?" she asked

"I thought I had stumbled in to a dream." he replied smoothly.

"Do you remember what I said?" she asked.

"Um... Not really." he replied.

"Why you arrogant little..." she began but silenced by Robin's finger.

"I remember, I could never forget you." he said, "Listen, you said you would bind yourself to me."

"And to that I hold." she said as she handed him a diamond pendant.

"You cannot give this to me, you are a princess and i am a woodsman you cannot come with me." Robin said.

"It is my life to give to whom I choose." she replied, " Any life is better as long as I have you to share it with, even if you were a poor peasant living in the ground, I could not part from you. Fate bought us together and fate will keep us together."

Then they came together and kissed.

In the morning, the Robin Hood was out in the plaza reading an ancient book, when Little John came in and in the middle of the plaza was an angelic statue with its arms stretched out holding the shards of a great sword. "Wow. Excalibur, the sword that cut the grail from the head of Sauman." he said as he felt the biggest shard, "Ow, it cut me!"

"Suck it up you big baby!" Robin Hood said from across the plaza.

"Nothing but a broken blade," he said as he dropped the shard to the ground.

He exited the plaza as Robin came close. Robin bent down, picked up the shard and knelt before the altar, as he replaced the sword with a prayer. "Why do you fear the past?" came a quiet voice.

"The same blood flows through my veins; the same weakness." he replied.

"You are Arthur's heir not Arthur himself. "She explained," in time you will face the same evil and you will defeat it."

"How can I? I will fail." he said in despair.

"Follow your heart and let it tell you." she said and disappeared.

"What.. Where did she go?" he said as it looked around the empty plaza.

The day after the companionship was off. Fitted with great horses and their weapons sharpened. Before they were off, Miriam came to them in a light green tunic and matching tights; she was holding a longbow and a quiver, over her tunic she wore leather armor. "What are you doing?" Robin asked.

"I can fight." she replied.

"Your place is here with your adopted father." Robin replied," You must stay here and take care of the princesses."

"Robin, you know me better than anyone." she replied, "You know that I cannot stand my half-sisters ."

"The Muslim world is no place for a woman, now please if you truly love me you will stay." Robin explained sternly.

"But I can fight, you know that I cannot be a princess, you know that I'm a better bow woman than any man." she said with tears streaming down her face.

"I'm sorry" Robin said and kissed her forehead.

With that the companionship was off on their horses, and Robin never looked back to see his lady. They headed for Camelot a famous seaport of the time, from there they would disembark around Gaul and into the Mediterranean and into Jerusalem's harbor. They headed through the forest that they had rescued the princesses from. They headed to the first clearing that contained Rapunzel's tower, but they found that the aged Rapunzel had leaped to her doom. Her gray hair trailed from the top of her tower down to the lifeless body on the ground. They all paid their respects and headed on. They headed into the darkest part and out came a withered old man, well at least they though it was a man. He was adorned in a loin cloth and his eyes were abnormally big. His stench was unbearable. "What do we have here? Precious." He said is a raspy voice, "Five, travelers carrying something that belongs to us. Yessss…. Precious."

"Who or what are you?" Little John asked.

"I would ask you the same." The creature said and coughed. "Arthur…Arthur."

"Just kick him out of the way and let him die. He's got little life left." Glimi said.

"Hear, hear." Declared Lemolir.

"NO!" shouted Merlin, "This creature is…is Arthur."

The group was stunned. "What…happened to him?" Robin said.

"He was a great king in earlier days, but he was consumed by the Grail and he transformed to this." Merlin said pointing in disgust.

"So… more the reason to get rid of him." Glimi said.

"No, have you no pity?" Robin said.

"Please… Just one little boot." Glimi said brandishing his hammer.

"No!" Robin Hood said sternly.

With the creature let to go on his own path. They, of course made sure of this. They where heading for Camelot and where at the edge of the forest when the creature, Arthur, pop up and started squealing and lunged him self at Robin. "Give the grail to us, Precious." It said in a cold voice.

"Never!" Robin said and lunged his dagger into the creature's belly.

The creature screamed and squealed with such ear splitting noise, the forest animals stirred and left in all directions. "Now, with that unpleasantness aside may we proceed out and into the mountains of Karesh and then into Camelot." Glimi said.

"Agreed." Was the reply from the entire group.


End file.
